Trying Not To Love You (Starting at Chapter 5)
by TheWhoLockOtaku
Summary: The Doctor and Donna have made a promise to remain as "just mates" throughout their travels, but that's proving to be harder than both of them thought. For first chapters please visit: /s/7973398/1/Trying-Not-To-Love-You. I am not the original author. Rated M for implied...things, and later violence.
1. Chapter 1

N/A/N (New Author's Note): (To start off with, the whole "New Author's Note" thing, I didn't want take credit for the story, I didn't come up with it after all. Oh! I start this at Chapter 5, the rest of the story can be found here: s/7973398/1/Trying-Not-To-Love-You.) Hello! So this is a fairly new writing style for me to adopt. I haven't been doing third person for very long. I hope I can continue this great story for you guys. For the base of my writing, I shall pile on the feels. MWAHAHAHAHA! Well eventually, I'm going to ease into it for a little bit. Then dump in on you… Okay anyway, I hope you guys enjoy. R&amp;R, and please point out any mistakes I make, I have to be my own editor in this… Oh! I also apologize for the shortness.

Hours went by that the Doctor did his best to ignore Donna's muffled cries on the other side of the wall. For whatever reason, the TARDIS had decided to move his room closer to hers, much closer actually, and the Doctor wasn't fond of it.

"_You want me to check on her, don't you?" _He thought to the ceiling, stretching the telepathic link that he held with the TARDIS. An aggravated hum was his only reply.

"_She hates being checked on. Have you forgotten the last time I attempted to help her?" _He furrowed his brow for a long moment, remembering…

**FBFBFBFB**

"Donna, are you okay?" It was late at night, well it felt like it, in reality there was no night nor day in the TARDIS, and the Doctor was directly outside Donna's door, his hand pressed to the wood.

"I'm fine, spaceman. I don't need your help. I'm fine." Donna snapped from the other side of the door, her voice painfully obviously close to cracking.

He opened the door anyway. Donna was sitting on the floor, her legs crossed. She was in the black and white shorts she usually wore to bed and a black and yellow striped sweater. A small book was cradled in her hands, it apparently held pictures.

Donna slammed the book shut and whipped around to face the Doctor.

"I said I was fine Martian boy!" She yelled at him as she stood up. It didn't take long for Donna to shove him out of the room, slamming the door in his face. This time he heard the unmistakable click of the lock.

**FBFBFBFB**

"_I suppose it's a risk worth taking."_

He kicked off his covers and sat up, truth be told, his body didn't require near as much sleep as a human's, but he still slept every "night" for a few hours… Or minutes…

So he sat up and stared at the door for brief a moment before making up his mind and leaving the safety of his room.

The walk to Donna's room was far too short for The Doctor's liking, leaving him little time to think of what he would say to her when he opened the door and received, quite possibly, the scolding of a lifetime.

He rested his hand on the cold metal of the doorknob, his mind momentarily slipping back to Rose. All the nights he had stood just like this in front of her door, debating. Then he mentally slapped himself, it did no good to dwell on things like that.

He opened the door, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. The TARDIS turned the lights on very dim, enough for him to see, but not enough to alert Donna. He was only a step inside the room when he stopped to take in the situation. Donna was still asleep in her bed, but here entire form shook with every sob that escaped her lips.

The Doctor wasn't sure how long he stood there staring at her, but long enough that the TARDIS tilted the floor enough for him to stumble forward, and collapse into a kneel by her bed. He wasn't good with crying, laughing he could do, but crying…Release her from the nightmare then?

"Donna?" He whispered, leaning forward a bit and grabbing her hand. Nothing changed. Suddenly he was tempted to explore the dream for himself… this was a very bad idea. If Donna were to wake up and find him so close to her, he would surely be unable to feel his face for God knows how long. Before he was really weighed all the pros and cons, he gave in.

Releasing her hand he pressed the heels of his palms to her temples, and his fingers gently against her neck, just under her jaw. He pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. He was sucked into her dream with no noise at all.

Dream Donna sat on the corner of her bed, knees drawn to her chest. Her head was bowed, resting on her knees, her body shook violently. Of course he noticed Donna, but in reality what caught the Doctor's attention was another him, laughing at her.

This Doctor, or Doctor Two as he called him, bent over and took a fistful of Donna's hair in his hands, jerking back to make her look up at him. Doctor Two bent over and pressed his lips to hers, hard. This caused fire hotter than regeneration to shoot through the Doctor's veins.

Much to his disbelief Donna responded, tilting her head to the side. The Doctor was about to intervene the shocking situation when Doctor Two did it for him, slapping Donna across her face. Another surprise was when Donna didn't reply, she just let her head snap sideways, bright orange locks falling over her tearstained face.

"Oh Donna…" Doctor Two spoke in a mocking, disapproving tone. "Silly, sad, pathetic Donna, you're not even pretty. How could I even stand to have you around? I'm surprised I tolerated you around for as long as I did." Donna didn't come up with her brash usual reply, she simply looked down guiltily and mumbled 'I'm sorry'.

"That's enough of you, thanks." The Doctor finally spoke up from behind Donna, sonic screwdriver held firmly out in front of him. Really it was just a comforting thing to him, he couldn't do anything with it. "Donna, I can't change a dream, you need to believe that this isn't real." Donna shook her head vigorously.

"It has to be real…dreams aren't supposed to hurt." Her voice shook with fear and pain, shattering both of the Doctor's hearts.

"The TARDIS causes dreams to become more like a reality, it's meant to be a good think, I should have considered nightmares but I didn't. It's more like a dream state than a dream. Please believe that I could never hurt you." He was pleading with her now, but not daring to look away from Doctor Two.

"I…I believe you…" She sighed, her voice still unusually weak, and closed her eyes. Doctor Two vanished and the Doctor ran to her, jumping on to the bed. He sat on the bed and wrapped his arms around Donna.

"Important, amazing, wonderful Donna. Forgive me." He breathed in her ear and cupped her face, erasing the memory of the dream, and him being there.

The Doctor's eyes flicked open and he let out a long, slow breath. Releasing himself from the traumatizing dream. Donna was still asleep as he pulled away, allowing his fingers to linger on her neck a moment longer before he rose and silently left the room.

Collapsing in his own bed, he glanced at a timer. He had no use for a clock inside a time machine, but he did like to know how much time had passed sometimes. What had felt like hours in the dream had only been ten minutes.

If Donna could think things like that…Think that he didn't want her hear, that she was a bother. Well… He was now more scared than ever that Donna would ask to go home.

N/A/N: Once again I apologize for the shortness, but I wanted to get this up fast. I think it was a decent amount of time… I only adopted it a day ago. Anyway, I hope this is what you would want from me. Not too heavy on the feels I don't think. I'll start working on the new chapter as soon as I can.


	2. Chapter 2

N/A/N: Hello once again! I think I'm going to do a sort of adventure thing now… Problem is I tend to get pretty violent when it comes to stuff like this. Let's see what happens shall we? Also, I'll try to keep the violence to a minimum. Oh! This will be a longer chapter. I'm on break, so I've been working a lot on chapters.

* * *

Donna woke up from an oddly dreamless night and stared at the ceiling. The TARDIS brightened the light in the room as a result of her waking. Donna smiled and patted the wall gently, rewarded with a purr like hum and a small draft of warm air.

"Morning love." She replied and stood up, shivering when her feet touched the cold tile. Donna quickly jogged over to her dresser, digging through the top drawer until she found a pair of socks. She pulled them on quickly, thankful for the, admittedly thin, layer between her feet and the floor.

"I don't know…is this okay? Donna held out a purple T-shirt with a brown leather overcoat, and jeans. She also nudged a pair of black sneakers with her foot. The TARDIS responded with an approving flicker of the lights and Donna walked into the bathroom to shower before she got dressed.

"Woah!" The Doctor yelled as the entire console started to hum, shooting sparks at his face. "You can't flicker your lights! I'm working on that wire!" Well he said working, really he had been thinking of Donna, and a way to make up for the dream she couldn't remember. The TARDIS hummed in annoyance in reply and the wire mended itself, leaving the Doctor to just rearrange things.

"Oi! Martian boy! Your tea's cold!" Donna's voice rang out from a bit farther down a hallway, but she was quickly drawing closer.

"Alright!" Came The Doctor's reply from under the console, which he forgot he was under. When he sat up he groaned as his forehead got to meet the titanium undercover of the TARDIS console.

The Doctor shut his eyes as he sank back down on to his back, hearing Donna's footsteps quicken at the noise. When the throbbing dulled enough for him to open his eyes he saw Donna leaning over him, hand stretched under the console for him to grasp, which he did, gratefully.

"Are you alright?" She asked softly, sounding genuinely concerned as he stood up with a bit if difficulty.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." He replied as Donna started to lead him back down the hallway.

"Well, what did you do? Doze off under there? I could understand why, you're always laying like that. It can't be good for you." Donna scolded The Doctor lightly, only causing a wide grin to appear on his face. Same old Donna.

As they entered the kitchen, the TARDIS flickered the lights and made a choke-like humming sound. Donna's head whipped around.

"Why is she doing that? Is she okay?" Donna's voice held a bit of a worried tone, but The Doctor suddenly looked down, a light blush forming on his face.

"She's laughing…" He muttered, and gestured down with his head. Donna looked, their hands were still linked together, fingers intertwined. Neither had bothered to let go once The Doctor was up.

It felt like a natural thing for them… Not that either would admit it. They both let go suddenly, The Doctor mentally slapping himself as Donna turned her back to him to hide the blush.

She walked over to the kettle and busied herself pouring their tea, the TARDIS still humming in amusement. The Doctor glared at the ceiling.

"_Do you have to continue with that?" _He inquired, once again stretching the telepathical link.

"_But it was funny!" _The TARDIS explained in reply. The Doctor was about to give the TARDIS a stern talking to when Donna broke into his thoughts.

"I don't know if you've suddenly found a reason to dislike the ceiling, but do you want your tea?" The Doctor's head suddenly snapped in her direction and he shook the thoughts out of his head.

"Yeah, thanks. Sorry." He walked over and sat across from her, taking the cup in both hands.

"So…When or where would you like to go today?" He inquired, taking a small sip. The tea was great, it was different than what she usually drank, meaning what he usually drank.

"Yes, because I know everything about every planet, and every species." She replied, setting down her tea with a soft _clink_, and turning her attention to a nearby book, which lay splayed open on the table. The Doctor opened his mouth to argue but quickly closed it, seeing as there was no winning in this one.

"Well I was thinking about going to a planet 300 or so centuries in your future. The people are fairly short and they change colors with their personality, it makes it difficult to lie mind you. They're welcoming to strangers, but they can easily become moody. They're a bit like humans so there's a chance of trouble. Be careful."

Donna nodded in response, she had looked up from her book and was listening to The Doctor.

"I'll be careful, Doctor, promise. As long as you do the same." Her voice was more of a command then a comment, but he grinned in reply.

"As careful as I can be."

OoOoOo

After much shaking, holding on, and wheezing noises, the TARDIS stopped at their destination. Donna straightened her coat and ran a hand through her hair, exhaling slowly to calm herself.

"And you're completely against stabilizers?" She questioned, walking with The Doctor to the door.

"Boringers," He corrected her. "And yes."

Donna only shrugged in reply and stepped into the crowded street. Smiling a bit at the sight in front of her. The people weren't exactly different colors as The Doctor had said, but they had a tint to their skin. Say a person hit their arm, they would turn a shade of red as if they were blushing.

"The Astropatherandistriods, the mood ring of the universe." The Doctor said proudly, putting another wide grin on his face.

The Doctor started walking, gesturing for her to follow with his head, which she did.

Donna walked in silence for a while letting The Doctor explain about the planet and species before she felt a hard tug at her coat.

"Doc-!" Came Donna's cut off reply as The Doctor turned on his heel to find and empty space where Donna had just stood. He had just been explaining about the second migration of the Astropatherandistroids, a very interesting topic, when Donna had been snatched.

The Doctor felt both of his hearts quicken at a rapid pace, he placed his hands on his head and paced for a moment to calm himself before taking out his sonic screwdriver and scanning the nearby area. No traces of Donna came about, and The Doctor started to pace back and forth, his mind racing. Where could she possible have gone?!

The Doctor started to make his way down the busy street to the capitol, better to go about this strategically than to start screaming her name. The last thing he wanted to do was endanger Donna.

It only took a couple flashes of physic paper to make it into the Emperor's presence.

"Alright, just pass as an average person worried sick about their…friend…and you'll be fine." The Doctor told himself and braced his hand on the door. He let out a slow breath to calm his still racing hearts and stepped inside.

OoOoOo

"You will stop talking now." The man, who was purple with pride of actually capturing her, but now burned red with anger.

"You know what? I don't think I will. See, you kidnaped me. And there are several things wrong with that. Shall I list the- Ooof!" Donna lurched forward, although she was unable to clutch her stomach where she had been kicked. Her hands were both chained above her to the wall. She could already feel her wrists being rubbed raw.

"Thank Siphlux! I didn't think she would ever shut up." The man growled as he bent over, Donna doing her best to stay conscious as she roughly gripped her chin and snapped her head from side to side, sighing with disgust and disappointment.

"50,000 for her at best" His voice came out as a low growl and he dropped her chin, Donna let her head hang, her blood boiling with rage. Rage that she didn't have the energy to let out. "I told you oafs that we needed 400,000 quibnits quality! Not cheap, run of the mill gorphsnip like that." He jerked his head to Donna, narrowing his eyes.

"Look, boss. Out scanners picked up a rare breed, we just had to assume it was her." The talking male was almost black from stress and fear. "I-It must have been the male she was with."

"Oh, a friend huh? I bed he would pay top price to get his little lover back." He spoke with a devilish smirk on his face and turned to face Donna. "Of course, we'll need to send him some sort of proof that we actually have his little flower."

"My. Name. Is. Donna." She panted out, her eyes flickering with pain and rage.

"Well, Donna. We're going to have a lot of fun. Aren't we." Before Donna could snap back a sock was stuffed in her mouth then duct taped over. At this point, unfortunately, there was no way she could make herself pass out now.

* * *

N/A/N: I kind of feel bad…But I don't! Because now we have a cliffhanger! Mwahahaha! Okay yeah. Stay tuned, I'll update ASAP.

Stay Classy Shippers~


	3. Chapter 3

NAN: Longer one at the end. Okay so I hope you guys like this chapter, I know I've been behind. In my defense school has been a pain in the arse. Anywho, I like this chapter quite a bit. Oh yes, sorry for the shortness or longness. R&amp;R if you want.

* * *

The Doctor's eyes widened as he watched the footage that had been sent to police by Donna's kidnappers. Both of his hearts shattered apart, this was his fault entirely. _"Stupid Doctor!" _He scolded himself, no longer being able to look at the video he looked away, closing his eyes. Knowing that the images along with Donna's pained screams would be burnt into his memory forever.

"That's her." His voice came out as a choked whisper. He was handed a document with an outrageous amount of money printed on the front. In the past he had been able to hack into systems and use "credits". But that didn't work here. Everything was done in cash, which the Doctor had none of. The money itself was deadlocked, the code for it that is, so there was no way for the TARDIS to reproduce counterfeit money for him to use. For one of the few times in his life the doctor felt completely helpless.

"We're doing our best sir, a few people recognized the scene but everything had been moved once we got there, apart from a bit of blood and cloth on the floor." The police man had turned a deep blue, the sadness of the news painted across him.

The Doctor could only numbly nod in return as he stood and exited the station. The meeting with the emperor had been useless. The man couldn't care less about his citizens or what they were doing. Typical. The Doctor let out a grunt frustration and kicked the wall, only to notice that the nearby dust held a certain pattern.

A small, sloppy Gallifreyan symbol in the dirt that Donna must have seen several times aboard the TARDIS. _"Doctor_". Was the word, but The Doctor was finding it hard to focus on that because of the small drops of blood in the symbol.

"Donna…" He breathed and walked down the direction that the finger scrapes read, looking for any other signs telling where they had dragged her. Although, he wasn't too fond of the next three. They were crimson finger prints painted on to the wall at every corner. Unfortunately they got increasingly darker and easier to see the further he went.

The Doctor was finally about to call someone when he heard a faint whip-like crack in the distance…followed by a scream.

"Donna!" He choked out and ran after the sound, coat flying out behind him, his sonic screwdriver clutched tightly in his hand. He skidded to a halt not ten feet from Donna Noble, the scene before him causing his hearts to quicken to a drastic rate.

Donna had a rope tight around her neck that was tied to a wooden steak that had been driven into the dusty ground. Her face in the dirt, normally ginger locks now brown from dirt and dried blood. A whip was being cracked over her back, a sharp cry of pain escaping her lips each time it came into contact with her skin. The Doctor held out the sonic, the suddenly loud sound hurt even his own ears. The whip flew from the now black man's hand as he made the sudden move to cover his ears.

When the sound died out, the strange man whipped around. Searching, and failing, to find the source of the terrible noise.

As Donna's cries increased in volume the crimson man gave her a sharp kick to the ribs, and Donna died down to painful whimpers.

The Doctor held out the sonic a second time and the man's foot flew in the air, sending him back down into the dirt. He growled and jumped up, sharply jerking Donna's rope, causing her breath to catch in her throat. While she gagged The Doctor once again he held out the sonic and the rope started to glow red with heat. The man turned a brighter red and cried out in pain, clutching his hand.

Eyes wide with fear they ran off, leaving Donna alone in the dirt, forgotten. The Doctor ran quickly over to her, untying her neck.

"Please no! Please!" Donna cried out, her body shivering and shaking. The Doctor pulled her tenderly against him and whispered into her ear. He rocked her back and forth as he talked. The Doctor had never seen Donna in suck a pitiful state, and it hurt him.

"Shh, Donna it's me. It's me…" The Doctor fought to keep his voice from cracking as he removed his coat and lay it over her injured body and tattered clothes, then lifted her slowly in his arms. While cradling her against his chest, The Doctor did his best to calm his hearts as he walked quickly back to the TARDIS.

The TARDIS, sensing the enraged doctor, opened the doors for him, and closed them behind him. The first thing she noticed was Donna limp in the Doctor's arms. The TARDIS changed the first room on the right to the med bay.

Once in the room he placed Donna down on one of the beds and started tending to her wounds, wanting nothing more than to kiss her face and tell her that it would be okay. He wanted to hold her and let her cling to him, to feel her warm breath on his neck... But for now he had to let his rage calm. He had to fix Donna, his Donna. Wonderful, beautiful, amazing Donna.

The Doctor bandaged the cuts silently and placed cool packs on the bruises. A bit like ice packs, but they cooled on their own, instantly sensing the species they were placed on as well as the average body temperature for that species. This insured that it would not get cold enough to harm the patient. The Doctor wanted to do more, but he couldn't. That much regeneration energy would kill her.

"Doctor?" She choked out, eyes now open, and tearing up. "Doctor where are you?!"

The Doctor realized he had strayed out of her line of sight while filling a large bucket with warm water, with which he had intended to wash Donna's hair with.

"Right here, love." The Doctor replied automatically as he walked back over to her and sat down, cupping her weak hand in both of his. "I'm so sorry Donna, this is all my-" He was silenced with a glare from Donna that could stop the elders from talking.

"None of this was your fault, don't talk like that." Donna scolded as hand shifted a bit in his grip and her eyes drifted shut. "Just don't leave, spaceman." Her voice trailed off as she drifted to sleep.

"I won't, ever." Came the soft reply as he let her hand fall and stood. The Doctor made his way back over to the bucket and lifted it, then placed it on a table behind Donna. With her head still on the pillow he placed her head over the bucket and started to slowly wash her hair, ridding it of the dried blood, dust, and sweat that had been gathered in it, cursing himself in the process. This was a completely pointless task. There was no reason for it. But he couldn't just do…nothing.

The Doctor removed the bucket from under her and pulled a towel from under the white table. He wrapped the cloth around her hair to prevent the rest of her from getting wet, then lifted the dirty water and made his way to the sink to dump it out. The TARDIS always took care of waste products.

The Doctor braced his hands on the counter and let his head hang. He could hear Donna's shallow breathing behind him, and for a moment he debated crawling into the bed with her. It would feel nice to wrap his naturally cooler body around her slightly smaller, warmer form. Donna, however, would probably hate him for that. He could picture it now,"_What the bloody hell Spaceman?!"_ So The Doctor settled for a seat beside Donna's bed, watching over her.

After a short time, Donna began to stir. Her eyes fluttered open and she licked her lips, she squinted a bit and groaned at the light, which the TARDIS dimmed for her. Donna looked to The Doctor and gave him a pained smile, which he could barely bring himself to return.

"Morning Martian Boy…" Donna attempted to sit up but she was stopped by gentle hands on her shoulders, guiding her back to a laying position.

"I don't want you to move just yet. You're too injured." The Doctor cleared his throat hide his wavering voice, and as he leaned away his fingers stayed on her shoulders for a moment.

Donna would never, not in a million years, say it, but The Doctor's hands sent shocks through her body every time he touched her, but good kind of shock. Like when you kiss someone for the first time and you go weak in the knees.

"Oh I'm fine Spaceman." She sighed exasperatedly, well, actually her entire body was throbbing. But that would only concern The Doctor more than he already was.

"No you're not. You really should…" He paused. _You really should go home. _His mind willed him to say it, but he couldn't. Both hearts sealed his lips shut each time he tried to form the phrase. The Doctor felt incredibly selfish for it, but he couldn't let Donna leave. He…Needed her. "Rest for a while." He finished at last.

After another glare from Donna, who settled up with her back against the pillow, and sitting back himself. The Doctor managed a small genuine smile.

"You can read to me then." Donna flashed a grin to him, settling her gaze on the ceiling. The Doctor stared at her, imagining all the things he could do to her exposed neck, then a sudden thud jerked him out of his trance. At his feet was a book he had seen Donna reading several nights ago, in the library of course.

"Right…Right of course." The Doctor scooped the book up off of the floor and cradled it, to his shock the title was written in old high Gallifreyan. "Donna…" The Doctor whispered, scanning the cover, "What does this say?"

"_Where__ the Red Grass Grows_…why?"

* * *

NAN: So…What did you think? I can't wait to write the next one! I'll get right on that, and once again I'm sorry. I'll really try to get back to the Chapter a Week thing.

~Stay Classy Shippers


	4. Author's Note

**A/N: **I know, I know, I know. It's been for-freaking-ever since I've updated. Unfortunately reality got in the way. I got way too busy to be writing with exams and such. Not to mention my serious case of writer's block through this chapter. I'm not going to lie, it won't be an exciting chapter because this is like…recovery stages for Donna. I'm almost done writing it. I'll probably finish today or tomorrow. The chapter should be up by the end of the week…I hope. 

I really will try to get two in this week but tomorrow (Monday) I have a game, Tuesday I'm pretty sure we'll be looking at a house, Wednesday I'll be out until like 9. Chapters take a long time, and a lot of editing. I actually just went back and edited Chapter 3 **again **because some of it was just…bleh. BUT DO NOT FEAR! I have a two hour car-ride this weekend during which I hope to start writing Chapter 5.

Until then…Any guesses as to how Donna can read Gallifreyan? Hmm? I've got a really clever thing worked out (even if I do say so myself…and I do).

Side note…anyone have some inspirational stuff to post? That'd be great. Because I've literally been banging my head on the wall over this story and in the process written two and a half one shots. I don't know what's wrong with me. Anyway, I love you all and thank you for the extreme patience on your part, but I guess we're good at it. The Fandom That Waited. Goodnight, well, not goodnight. I'll be up writing for a few hours but if you're in a later time zone and up to see me post this…go the F to bed.

~Stay Classy Shippers


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